I Am Proud of My Cat

I am proud of my cat.

Today, she shit in the litter box. When she finished shitting, she pushed the kitty litter over her kitty shit with her paw.

She buried her kitty shit.

Concealed her Tootsie rolls.

I am proud of my cat.

Last Sunday, when I was watching The Walking Dead and my cell phone range, I told my cat to answer it and she did.

I told her to tell the caller that I was busy, to take a message.

My cat, the obedient cat that she is, she took the caller’s name and number. My cat wrote the caller’s name and number on fine letterhead, the kind of letterhead with a watermark, and she wrote the caller’s information down in calligraphy style font.

I am proud of my cat.

My cat, she deserves a nationally recognized bullshit holiday.

Happy National Cat Day, Abby.

Abby 1

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Author: Joe Stallone

Fiction Writer

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